Tuesday, July 9, 2019

To new innings.

I was 7 when my parents first divorced. I can say 7 because I know that when I turned 8 my Dad sat in my baptism with a motorbike helmet in his lap and I hadn't seen him for a while prior. That was the only time I remember him being at my baptism. I was too little to understand the lead up to their divorce, but I remember sitting in the car between them wondering why she was crying and why he was yelling. That kind of stuff doesn’t register in a child’s head that something epic is happening that will change the rest of everyone’s lives forever. At least for five of us who were sitting in the car that night.

Life at 7 was simple because the understanding of all that life was and had to offer was put on the back burner for Gem and the Holograms and play.

It became normal that Mum and Dad weren’t living in the same house anymore. I was not aware of the emotions my parents went through to get to that point because I was too little to have that kind of worry. Overtime my relationship with my Dad became different and watching my Mum raise us gave me an admiration for a woman who was now alone with a tribe of young kids.

She found herself again and when an athlete she had a lot in common with came her way, that  relationship became our new normal. Papa Greg became the father figure we lacked, especially so for my sister and I.

Today my parents divorced.

It’s a whole new bag of doritos when you can fully understand what’s going on now and every emotion my Parents feel pangs on my heart strings too. I don’t know if the choice was right, but it was wanted and I respect that.

Once again our lives will change in an epic way, the saddest part is that our kids have to live through what we didn’t understand back in the 80s that night in the car with my parents. 

This one is different.
This one literally hurts.

I drove my Mum to the court house today where they signed their marriage away. I dry heaved all the way home because our new normal began today.

I am sad.
For my Mum.
For my Hubs.
For the change in our lives that I never expected.

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