Wednesday, November 29, 2017


I’ve been sick over the last 3 days and today I realized just how much help my family are in my time of need. No one in particular, but everyone the same.

On top of my back issue, I caught the flu from somewhere and it’s a little unbearable.

So when you come over for ukulele chords and when you come over and sit on my drive way beeping the horn waiting for me to come to the door and when you text for a password or text for something .. I’m sick the whole time. And when you message and ask for a photo shoot, family or not that ish is not free. Haven’t seen or heard from you all year and you want a free shoot.

I’m sick.
Pull your head out of your ass you are not the center of the universe even when I’m sick.

Would just appreciate some appreciation. It doesn’t help me feel better when you don’t believe I’m sick. Everyone gets sick .. even the glue who holds this, at times, selfish family together.

I’m fricken sick.
For real.

Monday, November 27, 2017

It rained.

If I told you in detail the events of last night, you'd think I was nuts.
The short version is .. I got a sore back around 6pm. Managed to get into bed by 7pm. Fell off the bed trying to get off it at 7.30pm. Stuck on the floor til 2am. Just as well my phone was out of reach .. I had no pants on.

But it's ok ... I found a hockey stick under my bed and pretended I was in a dingy for a few hours trying to get up. Thank goodness my child is weird and leaves things in funny places. eg. hockey stick under the bed, coat hanger in the fridge etc.

No idea what it was. If I were to go by the advice Google gave me, I'm dying of back cancer and possibly need my prostate checked.

Then it rained something fantastic this afternoon.

Ibuprofen and codeine have been my best-friends today.

The photoshoot from hell

Told her not to wear that hat, but she doesn't listen.

Aunty Shaizay.

Must be the snazziest Grandma on the internet right now Nanny Mitch!

My personal favorite.

Nessa got her phone taken off her today. She did not smile at all.

... that Lurch look ruined this one.

Ness ...

My nieces and nephews make me cringe.
Then there's this one ...

I should ground her, but it was the best thing that came out of today's shoot.

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Avi & Hubs

What it takes to get one good shot.
An attitude.

A snotty nose.

Jumping on the tramp like it's Spring Break.

Then you bribe with a lolly.

Allow for giggles even though you're clenching your teeth.

Let her pull some funny faces before you break your teeth.

Then it's time to deliver the death threats.

I don't know about that one on the left though ...

Friday, November 24, 2017

Day 1826 & Thanksgiving.

Today was a hot. I woke up to year 5 and thought, yes .. Hub's deserves a Thanksgiving dinner.
And so we did it.

A dinner for 2 became a dinner for 6 by the end of the day.
And it was good.
Our boys first Thanksgiving.

Also ... this happened over the last few days.

He's a fat ball of delicious.

Life is good.

Thursday, November 23, 2017

The perfect song for Te Roopu a iwi

The first few lines say it all.
It's probably why I'm still here.

School photos.

Previous years, it took hours to get these photos done. I am not an aficionado of children and tend to get very impatient with the angelic rodents (again, not sure why I'm in the Primary at church), but today I was no nonsense. I let the teachers set them all up, snapped 3 or 4 photos and sent them on their merry way back to class. I was out of there in 44 minutes.

Glad she kept her finger out of the spotlight.
I have a few of those kinds of photos.

Monday, November 20, 2017

5 years later.

I always knew life would be complicated. It has been and still is. Complications come in different forms. Larry's death was a complication on my heart, but I've figured it out. I got a lot of 'time will heal' and 'it happened for a reason' over the last 5 years.

Reason and time changed nothing.

I changed how I felt because there was no point in keeping that heartache with me for the rest of my life. No one knows how draining it has been to break down and cry because he is not here. Faking happiness doesn't hide heartache. So I chose not to do either of those anymore.

Moving on does not mean I have forgotten him. I've just accepted the complication because I have to continue to live.

The heart is the most important part of the body. My heart broke 5 years ago, but I can't let it stop me from living. I miss him, but I will not mourn his absence for the rest of my life. So I've picked up the pieces and have regathered my broken heart.

I am choosing not to let it overcome me.

I will not let the 24th of November be a sad day anymore because I saw him struggle, I saw him in pain and I knew how happy he was to die.

I don't want to just wait for forever anymore.
I want to live.

I'm starting with me and fixing myself.
Just like he whispered on Friday the 13th, last month, in the Celestial Room.

Last weekend.

I went to Auckland over the weekend. It was the worst trip up and back that I've had in a while, or ever. I took 3/5 Livian children with me, one was Avi. She doesn't travel well and she let us know that for half the journey. I never wanted to tell her to shut up, but after a few hours of the same scream .. it couldn't be helped.

She still loves me after all those shut ups and 12 hours in a car.

Sisters big son got baptized by his Dad.
A good experience for them all.

Also .. Bebs got a haircut.
Now he doesn't look like a little blonde girl who wears snapbacks.

I need to sleep.

Sunday, November 12, 2017

So says the iPhone.

I have been slack with carrying around my DSLR. I have set up a day to shoot our kids, with a camera not a gun (although sometimes ...), in a few weeks time. It will be the last shoot before The Livians go.

This next week needs to go fast. I haven't relaxed since September.

6 more Sundays till Christmas.

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Home from China.

I've learned what being a Mother-of-two feels like and I wouldn't wish it upon myself anytime soon again. As cute and delicious as that boy is, he's a demanding cute and delicious boy.

His Mum arrived back this morning.
I need to sleep the last 8 days off.

Hub's is glad he's back where he belongs. Every time he woke up and cried, she woke up and cried too. Her teacher commented today that she'd been a little down in spirits the past week. I told her it was because a 7 month old had been running our lives for the last week.

Seeing his Mama after 8-9 days.
Heard some news today that's put me off my community.
Seriously need to win the lotto so I can move out of this place and take my family with me.
It's becoming a cesspool of imbeciles in red.
The fall of PA has begun.

Wednesday, November 1, 2017


Shaily's school leavers dinner aka: Graduation.
Off to the real world she goes!

Rome went as Rome for halloween.

My child went as an All Black. I did not get photos because yesterday was the hell-pit of all days.
Our boy is missing his Mama.

He wants his normal back .. as do I young Padawan .. as do I.

Tyler & China.

 While I'm here living in baby poop and vomit, Tyler is on a quick tour to China for her roopu. Here she is at the airport with Sister, Larelly and Alya.

She's the first of our lot to visit China. Their first stop was in Canton China, the birth place of my great-great-great-grandfather. He was an orphan playing along the river side and some sailors decided to take him with them. The story that I know is that they either named him after the river they got him from, which is Ahmu, or Ahmu means river in the local language. They took him as a child and he settled in Samoa as an adult. Either way .. that's our heritage.

I'd go there for the good eats.

Picture unload

Haven't gone completely crazy with all these lockdowns and the restrictions that come with it, but close.  The kids are growing. The chu...