Thursday, December 8, 2016


I remember going to my Mums after school and seeing four home made pizzas on the counter top with instructions for my two older brothers on what they needed to do to heat them. She'd always set the temperature on the oven, all they had to do was put them in and flick on the main oven switch. She was at work after school and would get home between 7 - 8pm to at least one upside down pizza on the floor of the oven.

I watch my sister and her ways of Motherhood. Her older kids come in from school in the afternoons, hang their back packs up on the dining room chairs specifically assigned for their bags, remove their lunch boxes from their bags and place them in a spot they know is for their lunch boxes. They know that bedtime is at seven-three-oh but still fight for an hour from their bedrooms about how it's bedtime.

I watch Mitchy and her ways of Motherhood. Mitchy turns the internet off alot, much to the trepidation of her offspring. She doesn't like to cook because it's likely 1. Nan already fed two of them 2. They've already raided the school lunches or 3. It's 9pm and they've finally decided they're hungry and she was tired three hours ago.

I picked up pieces from them and applied them as best I could.

Hubba has a hook by the back door reserved for her bag. She never hangs it up and she never takes out her lunch box like I ask her too. There are notices from her teacher sitting at the bottom of her bag since September that she just forgot to give me. She never makes her bed in the morning like I ask her to and lately all she wants to eat are pies and microwaved scrambled eggs.

Hubba moans because everyone else in the whole world gets the internet, but not her. Hubba moans when I watch an hour of news at 6pm claiming, the best part was coming up on Sponge Bob, then sits in a huff for an hour.

So tonight ... when she went to bed and all the brittle was gone .. I sat down and got luxurious because I was alone.

I had myself creamy garlic pasta with shrimp and spring vegetables with whole wheat bread and 89cent sparkling lemon soda from The Warehouse. 6 minutes in the microwave and I had myself a meal fit for a Queen and it didn't even matter that it only had 2 pieces of shrimp in it, because I got it from Watties staff sales, I was able to eat it like how I tell Hubba not to eat food lest she look like a piglet.

It's impossible to be the perfect mother because an honest mothers mantra should be "F this".
Every night.

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