Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Not a Kardashian.

I type this sitting here eating a Mac Attack.

Boys don't look twice at big girls.
Did you know this?

I'm use to not getting second looks or greetings. I've never been that kind of person to care, but that doesn't mean that I don't notice. Of course I notice when you greet my skinny sister-in-law and not me. Of course I notice when you talk to my skinny sister and not me despite the fact we've known each other all our lives. That's what being on the bigger end of the scale does to society and it's not just men who do it, women do it too.

I don't have to know you personally to be polite.

Being big sometimes can't be helped. I stopped trying to be un-big, but I never stopped trying to be healthy and even though my big may still not be healthy, inside I'm still me. I'm still who I have been when I wasn't so big and you did say hello.

Big doesn't bother me, it bothers society and what bothers me about society being bothered by big is that being not big is contemporary and accepted as normal.

Years ago while watching Roseanne, a show I loved not because the main characters were big peeps, her on screen daughter read a poem that hit the nail on the head for me.

To whom it concerns,
I'm not made of steel,
when I get blindsided
my pain is quite real.
I don't mean to squawk,
but it really burns.
Just thought I'd mention it,
to whom it concerns

I have a husband who loved every inch of my big. He fell in love with all of me, even the parts that didn't quite fit into those pants properly. When you find that person who looks at you like you're perfect in the morning, then nothing else matters.

I found mine.
He's not here to appreciate my big, but when we see each other again all of me will be exactly the same perfect he bound himself to for Eternity.

Look at people through Heavens eyes, not societies.


Me said...

I love this so much. I've been thinking a lot lately about how society tries to value women on things like this, and I've listened to stories like this or heard "I could tell I was older when people stopped noticing I existed", or stories of women who had gotten breast reductions from cancer and were treated like they weren't there any more.

Fuck the haters. We're people. We love ourselves, we love eachother, and there are people out there who love us too. If society can't love us the way we are, we'll change society.

Never let them get to you. You're amazing.

Anonymous said...

Amen, sister. I wish people would see my heart, not my hips. When we get to the other side, no one is going to ask what your address was or how big your house was, what size you were or what you drove. Why are we caught up in so many things that really don't matter? Look at my heart.

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