Wednesday, November 30, 2016

PhotoShop and dead peeps.

Let me tell you about how I recently applied for a job at a local Mortuary because they needed someone advanced in Photoshop. Did not get the correlation at first until I did some research via their website to see that funeral programs and heavily pictured obituaries are offered as a part of their service to take care of departed loved ones.

I applied right away. Sent in my resume and portfolio. I was able to tick a few more of their boxes like, competent in Microsoft Office and a list of Adobe products. Had a phone interview last Thursday and was asked a bunch of questions about empathy and was emailed a few case scenarios and how I'd work my way out of them.

Pretty sure I was secured the job when I received the list of duties and given a start date of mid-Jan. Read through three pages of duties and was feeling quite happy with myself.

It was that easy.

Then I got to the bottom of the list.
  • Late night closing.
  • Final check and securing of the cold chambers.
What's a cold chamber you ask?

Not in your wildest fricken dreams.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Where are we going?

Read a blog online a few months ago about planning family holidays. Since there's only two of us, basically, I thought it would be easy and started to 'plan' the same day I read the blog. I had used before and knew that they take bookings and you don't have to pay until the end of your trip. I thought this was awesome, until I realized that planning 4 holidays for all of next year quickly added up to a little under 5k- round trip.

Decided quickly that the blog I read only gave me one useful advice.
Plan ahead.

When we were in California, we'd head to Ventura once a month to get away. We could back then. We had the time and finances to do it on a whim. Now and again we'd head the other way to Vegas and stay in Primm, NV where the hotels, back then, were $16 a night and not a mattress in a carpark as you'd expect for that price.

The best I've done in NZ was when Larry's niece came a few months ago and we stayed in a fancy hotel in Auckland. Totally made me broke for the rest of the month, but I had a good time.

Spent my sick weekend looking up cheap places around the country that I could take Hub's to at the end of every school term. I looked up accommodation and the cheapest I found was basically a tent in the middle of no where for $10 a night. Kept planning.

A few points I learnt during my weekend research is to plan ahead. Plan all your holidays ahead. So I penciled in on my calendar for 4 get-aways. The next was to budget for it. I've spaced them 10 weeks apart (end of the school term) giving me 10 weeks to save for the next trip. 10 weeks is ample time to put money away for a get away. Next I picked where I'd go and the Ventura thing came back to mind. We went to Ventura because we knew Ventura. We knew the price of Ventura and we knew where to eat in Ventura.

So I confirmed when we're going, where we're going and roughly how much it's going to cost for a weekend get-away times four. If there is nothing to do when we get there, that's ok because getting creative is free. eg: being chased through a paddock by sheep.

Saturday, November 26, 2016


I've been sick for days.
As per usual, people came to visit when I didn't want them to.
I've had no visitors all week and they all come when I'm sick and just want to be in bed.
They even bang on my window and shout "I know you're home" until I get up.
The downfall of living here.
Really want to invest in a 6-foot fence and a security gate.

We put up our tree tonight. I wasn't digging the blue this year so I let Hub's hang the whites and we'll get some gold during the week.

Thursday, November 24, 2016


Sometimes I sit in church and think ...

It sucks that I'll never get to hear him bless the sacrament again.
It sucks that I'll never get to hear him speak again.
It sucks that I'll never get to feel the power in when he was given a new church assignment again.

... but I quickly remember that I will and I did. What's more powerful than knowing you've done what you came to do on Earth and that your life was in complete order and ample to be called back to the presence of God?

The power in that alone is enough to bring fulfillment where grief should be.

Nothing has changed. He is still here.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Thanksgiving 2016.

Had it a day early this year. Thanksgiving for us is actually remembering the day Larry died, which happens to be on the actual Thanksgiving Day this year. There's a lot of things I'm thankful for in him and so the name fits the reason and it's pure coincidence that it occurred around Thanksgiving time. It's the American in Amaorican.

Typically I invite a few people aside from the circus, but I changed the day and they couldn't make it.

Tomorrow Ngawi has surgery.
I wanted him and his parents to be with us tonight.

Monday, November 21, 2016

2017 - No Drama.

November is always sad for me, did not realize it would suck this much by the end of it. The Boaties visit last week took my mind off of things, but it's a new day today and there's a new drama to add to the list November has bought me.

I wrote in my actual diary at the beginning of the year. "Make 2016 just about my house hold". My problem is, I love my family too much to stay away, stay out of it and not offer support where needed. By November, I've bumped heads with too many people and only after talking with Mitchy yesterday did I decide, it's time to just not care. A hard thing to do, but an essential thing to do, for my own emotional well being.

A few years ago a close family member got in trouble legally and at the worst time during Larry's health issues, accused me of "narking". For real .. while my husband slowly died, I had time to nark someone out for something I had no idea of. That family member accused me twice. Larry told me to cut them off. They weren't welcome in our home, I walked by them in the street and when they wanted something, and they always did, I turned them away. It took me 6 years to completely cut that person off and the reason it took that long was because deep down inside, I knew the church taught that families are the most important people in your life.

November taught me that family will be the first to kick you when you're down. To bite your hand clean off when you feed them. November showed me what loyalty really means.

I love them all, but some of them are bastards fricken nuts.

Unless it involves me directly now, I do not care anymore. I will not care.
November was experience enough for me to sever more ties for the benefit of my own sanity.

Families will still be together forever, but if you're gonna be a dick on Earth, it will be that long before I make contact again.

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Can't go a day without my Avis.

Wrapped up the evening at The Livians with fireworks and goodbyes and moochies from Aviliscious.

A taste of summer.

Met up with The Farmers out at Waimarama. Ariel's last day in Hawkes Bay today before she heads back up to Auckland tomorrow and to the US of A early Monday morning. We fit in some last minute stuff today. They checked off the Hawkes Bay basics.

1. Rush Munroes Ice-Cream
2. Te Mata Peak
3. Fish n Chips
4. Silky Oak Chocolate Factory
5. Fancy McDonalds
6. Dominoes Pizza and it's atrocious pizzas.
7. Waimarama
8. Napier
9. The fancy new KMart.
10. The Circus (Family)

Tyler also arrived home late last night from her three week rendezvous in Te Waipounamu. Dreading tomorrow for Hubba's sake.

It's been a good week.
I've come to know my husbands first born much better in the last 6 days than I ever did in the 16 years I've known her. It's bought closure I didn't know was needed and blossomed a relationship that was long overdue.

Friday, November 18, 2016

In Napier.

As Sunday quickly approaches, I fear it's going to be a bad day for Hubs.
Ariel will lose her shadow that day.
It might be a bad day for both of them.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Mid Week.

Hub's loves her Ariel.

She's going to be a very sad fish when Ariel leaves on Sunday.
Hoping Tyler returning tomorrow night will fill the void .. but somehow I don't think so.

Jazzy died two years ago today.
It has gone by quick.

Summer part 2

Nessa envisioned this shoot with my nephew Ellis. They pulled it all together very well. Hubs was supposed to be in it, but got stage fright...