My family, as in my parents and siblings, never lived the Fa'a Samoa way. On the Islands, the Samoan way is more common than not. It is the cultural way of life. It's respecting, first, your matai or father and owing all respects to those in authority. If your matai says jump, you jump. If your matai says sing, you sing. If your matai says put your finances into the common pot, you are giving him rule over where that money goes. It's mandatory obedience at a whole other level.
It's not just practised on the Islands. It migrated with families who instilled it in their traditions. It is not a fair way or a humanizing way, but it is what it is for the people who live it.
My extended aiga practise it.
Tyler woke me up this morning to tell me a cousin on my Samoan side had committed suicide over night and the first thing I thought of was The Samoan Way.
Suicide is a tricky one. There have been mixed comments this morning with words ranging from sorry to selfish. Some of us don't stop to think about ones state of mind at the time and events or traditions in their lives that are negative. It plays a huge part in the act and yet we still say selfish.
Only God knows your heart.
Only God will judge.