Skip to main content

Laundry day.

When someone you love dies, the last thing you want to do is get rid of things that belonged to them. It's been that way for me. I've slowly let go of things over the last 3 months, but one thing I couldn't do was wash pillow cases and sheets because your scent was still in them.

When I first came back into the house, 2 weeks after you left, I slept with the lamp and TV on all night with Radio ZB blarring from the iPod dock. I did this because quiet time always made me think and thinking always led back to you and I hate thinking about your last few days. This leads me to thinking up things I could have said or wondering if there were things I said that I wish I hadn't. It all led to sadness.

Overtime, I turned the light off and left the other 2 on.

Last night I turned the TV off and lay in bed waiting for all those thoughts to come to me. They didn't. The only thought that came to me, in your voice, was:

"Mills, you seriously need to wash these sheets. It's been 3 months".

So I did.
The great thing is .. you must have always smelled like Surf laundry detergent and clean linen, because they still smell like you.

I still listen to ZB.
It's the only thing that reminds me at night that I'm not the craziest person in NZ. The weirdos come out at night and ring talkback.


Popular posts from this blog

Super Moon, Te Mata and Ariel.

Last nights Super Moon. Te Mata Peak. Safe to say, Hubbalush loves her Ariel. She's my favorite big sister Mum. (Shame Tyler, Shai, Nessa and Rome) Goodnight Hawkes Bay. Earthquake: I felt it. I got my child up and ran outside onto my concrete porch where I thought it would be safest. The Seismologist on the news the next day said running outside is not a good idea in the event of an Earthquake. Now I know for next time. Hawkes Bay didn't feel the effects of it like Southland did .. and is continuing to do. Over 1000 aftershocks since it all began. Tyler is stuck on the South Island and finishing out their tour, much to my dismay. It's a disaster zone in parts down there and although she's on the skirts of the danger zones, you'd think it professional AND safe to cancel the tour and bring the troop home .. but no. Some stupid doesn't think so. Goodnight.

Kawe Mate.

Recently an Aunty of mine, who is staunch in her Maori culture, talked to me about the protocol of Kawe Mate. Kawe Mate is a custom during the maori process of death that involves taking the deceased memory back to where they were well known or considered home. It's a custom that is basically a gesture of love to family members who weren't able to attend the tangi. My family never practised it at all and I don't think it's necessary to start. I carry his memory in my heart, as does his Mom, that's all that matters. Happy Mothers Day!