This month has probably been the worst month of 2019, mentally .. and there have been some son-of-a-bitch months this year. This is obvious in the lack of happy family blog posts thus far. It’s been up and down. Changes in the dynamics of a family have been nuclear this half of the year. I'm still weary of who I trust right now, but I love harder than I think and that's a struggle most days.
Work politics make me hate the work place, but it gives me something to do daily.
I am tired.
Tired of work so I'm glad that we're in the last 2 weeks of the term. Tired of the politics there and co-workers who take advantage and make things harder for the rest of us there who are there to do our jobs.
Tired of drama.
Tired of Hubba's school and their approach to anti-bullying.
Tired of a ward that has been sitting on the launch-pad since three Bishops ago.
Tired of the cliques in the ward.
Tired of the indirect judgement.
President Nelson, in a General Conference talk, spoke of the sister in his ward when he was Bishop who struggled with church participation because of the people in it. The cliques. The judgementals. The part-timers. The non-singers. She was ready to quit when he challenged her one day. Her challenge was that when she got to church on Sunday, head straight to the kitchen and fill up a spoon with water and walk around the chapel twice without spilling any water. So she did. He asked her later during church hours if she saw any of the people she complained about, to which she responded, "I was too busy trying not to drop any water from the spoon".
This is why I go to church.
For the water in the spoon.
Two things kept me happy this weekend.
Thing 1 and Thing 2.