Sunday, August 26, 2018

Wrapping up August

Shaily turned 19 at the beginning of the month. Tyler turned 25 over the weekend. Next weekend we'll celebrate Hub's turning 8 and being baptized.

A few months ago I spoke with someone who told me that I needed to care a little less about what is happening around me and make sure that I'm all in check. I know I've been pretty selfless over the years, but talking with him opened my eyes to just how much.

I got a follow up email last week to see how things were panning out and whether or not I was practicing the new lease on life that he advised. Not to stop caring completely, but to choose carefully where I choose to give aid.

I don't think I've shut everyone off, but I have been home alot more than usual. Maybe it's a combination of winter and work, but I think it's 30% winter and work and 60% caring less.

Take family for example, something happened that sent my family network into a spin. Things got worse, then got better, then got worse again and got better and that was the part that wore me out and made me think Yep, F this.

Not F my family, but F caring. F fighting a battle that isn't mine. F playing the middle man to months long silence in a marriage. F taking sides. F keeping your secrets. F being a shoulder to cry on. F being the one to blame. F hearing something and making it my problem.

So I took a step back from my family a few months ago. I stepped back a bit too far and bought myself back to a safe spot where we can catch each other when we fall, but within reason and with limits.

Things just changed and I withdrew and was suddenly very conscious of the disequilibrium in my family network. Next weekend will be a good start to potentially change how I've been feeling towards participating again as a whole family.

Families are not forever, but they can be.
It has to be fixed and functioning properly here in order to qualify for forever.
That's the most challenging part of life.

Monday, August 20, 2018

Friday - Monday

Tyler and her roopu were on the kids show What Now on Sunday morning. She was in Auckland overnight and we got the boy for a few days.

They’re like two peas in a pod most times.

Back to Friday at work. I did a shift in the kitchen that day and made Enchiladas and Alfajores.

Sunday watching Shrek.

He screamed at her, she screamed back so I screamed at them both and they both got angry at each other for being told off.

When Avi visits ...
Did something to my leg over the weekend and took a sick day. I've been binge watching 13 Reasons Why on Netflix and if this is how High School is these days ... Hubba isnt going to any High School.

Friday, August 10, 2018

Always a missionary

I never thought myself a missionary. Maybe one time at high school I thought about going on a mission when I came of age, but nope ... it isn't mandatory in the church and so I let that idea go at high school. It wasn't until I was older that I realised that you don't have to go on a mission to be a missionary. Even then, it was something I didn't put any effort into. I didn't openly share points about the gospel until someone asked and even then, it was only ever answers to questions people had out of pure curiousty.

Do you guys wear special underwear.
Do you guys drink coke.
Will you be OK when your husband takes another wife.
E.T.C.

The head chef, the one I mentioned yesterday, has asked questions through-out the year. They've become more and more family centered and just the other day she told me that one of her grand-daughters got baptised into the church last month and she's noticed a huge difference in her. While we were sitting around in the kitchen this morning a few other co-workers asked about Church College, which led to the Temple and ultimately, Mormonism.

Larry told me a story about how his grandfather had inquired about the church. He asked his grandfather what his most prized possesion was on Earth, to which he responded, his family. This was a precusor to one of his most valued memories he'd had of his grandfather. He responded with the purpose of temple and the work done in temples.

It was the perfect story to tell the widow, still grieving her husband, who lives in hope there is something more out there than just death. I asked her today if she wanted me to do her husbands temple work. With much emotion in her voice, she happily agreed. So this afternoon we sat together in the school kitchen and found as much ancestors as we possibly could to link on familysearch.org. Go back a few generations in her family and their work has all been done.

I got approval from the powers that be to do their work and since our temple has closed for three years, I've shared their pending work with the temple system.

She's a great lady. She's probably the reason I love my job, because she is there every day smiling back at me when I walk through the doors to come on shift. I invited her to Hubba's baptism next month and she is very excited to come.

“No unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing; persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame, but the truth of God will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every continent, visited every clime, swept every country, and sounded in every ear; till the purposes of God shall be accomplished, and the Great Jehovah shall say the work is done.”

Thursday, August 9, 2018

An appreciation post.

The head chef at work lost her husband a few years before I lost Larry. We click because we have that one thing in common. I understand how she feels to be without a husband and she understands how I feel.

Women are always complaining about their husbands, not just at work. It's everywhere. At home, in friends circles and even at church. A few times I've been stuck sitting in the foyer listening to women at church moan about their husbands and what he did this week that wasn't up to par by her standards. It's within my family. I've seen it all my life and continue to see it. I hear about so-far-from-perfect husbands from friends and when husbands are mentioned in bad taste at work, I cringe.

Until you're without a husband, not by choice, shut the hell up about the man you chose to spend your life with. I don't want to hear about how you don't want to iron his shirts. I don't want to hear about how you hate doing his laundry. I don't want to hear about how he irritates you at home. I don't want to hear about how you feel unappreciated because he doesn't look at you the same way he use to. I don't want to hear about how he doesn't like to hold your hand in public.

Your miserable is far from my reality. I would do anything to have my husband in a room so that I can be miserable at him for a minute. I would give anything to do his laundry.

Never underestimate his feelings. They're as substantial as yours outside of his manly exterior. Appreciate him now and for the rest of your lives together because one day he is going to be gone and you will be met with true misery.

Sunday, August 5, 2018

End of July, into August.

Tomorrow will be week 3 of term 3 for the school year. 7 more weeks to go and we're out for the school holidays again. Term four is even shorter because it's exam season and the last season of the school year before we welcome fruit season back into our lives ... and Santa.

Do you know what I miss most about American Christmases?
Swiss Colony.
There is nothing like it in New Zealand.
Nothing.


Facetiming with Tyler as she has a bathroom moment.

Painted this for my wall. Once I had finished it I regretted using color. It's a place holder until I have photos to fill a giganto frame.

Upholstered old furniture this week.

Super Rugby final at Nan's lastnight.
Crusaders took the title this year.
Boom.

These two are currently 16 months.

He stayed the night.
I got no sleep.
Early night tonight.

I have a sick child.
She's acting like she's dying because I just sent her to bed so she can get up early for school tomorrow.
Of course I won't send her to school if she's sick .. but if she's 10% better, she's going.