Thursday, November 2, 2017

You start with you.

I've been thinking about my temple experience chronically for two weeks now. I've wanted to go back to either undo what happened with confirmation that what I experienced was actually a mistake or to affirm that it wasn't. I know deep down there is no undoing any experience you have in the temple, but I'd like to try.

I've been both offended and uplifted by 'You start with you'. From thinking it's superficial to extremely significant. How do you start with you when you think nothing is wrong with you to begin with? It could be because I swear to much, but even my Stake President knows that's not going to change. My Mum has been telling me for years how I could use some mascara and Thin Lizzy, but Tom Boys don't care for such things. I asked her who I was trying to impress by wearing mascara and she said 'yourself'. I'm not going to think myself any prettier with long lashes. She even buys me clothes she'd like to see me in. I usually end up using them as pajamas.

I will not give up the name that was spoken in the temple that day. Not yet. It's still very strange to me and I am trying to look at it as a fellowshipping challenge and not anything else, because anything else would be weird considering I thought that person was a Muppet during our teen years.

My life is already fulfilling.

So I've figured I can do one of two things. Follow through and see what happens or ignore it and my hand is up for ignoring it.

But for the life of me .. it's not happening that way. I've crossed paths with said person more times in 2 weeks than I have done since leaving High School back in the mid 90s.

You start with you.
But I'm content.

1 comment:

Ariel S. Armijo said...

Good luck with whatever you decide and I'm definitely here to listen, no judgement 💞💞💞