Monday, November 20, 2017

5 years later.

I always knew life would be complicated. It has been and still is. Complications come in different forms. Larry's death was a complication on my heart, but I've figured it out. I got a lot of 'time will heal' and 'it happened for a reason' over the last 5 years.

Reason and time changed nothing.

I changed how I felt because there was no point in keeping that heartache with me for the rest of my life. No one knows how draining it has been to break down and cry because he is not here. Faking happiness doesn't hide heartache. So I chose not to do either of those anymore.

Moving on does not mean I have forgotten him. I've just accepted the complication because I have to continue to live.

The heart is the most important part of the body. My heart broke 5 years ago, but I can't let it stop me from living. I miss him, but I will not mourn his absence for the rest of my life. So I've picked up the pieces and have regathered my broken heart.

I am choosing not to let it overcome me.

I will not let the 24th of November be a sad day anymore because I saw him struggle, I saw him in pain and I knew how happy he was to die.

I don't want to just wait for forever anymore.
I want to live.

I'm starting with me and fixing myself.
Just like he whispered on Friday the 13th, last month, in the Celestial Room.

1 comment:

Melissa said...

Great post. Good luck xx