Monday, October 23, 2017

Looking forward.

General Conference was a few weeks ago. As I have always done, since Church College, I write down questions because quite often, the questions would be answered during talks. Writing questions down has become habitual. I tried to make my nieces catch on, but they're teenagers and can't sit through a session long enough without turning to Social Media for their divine inspiration.

Typically, my questions revolve around family, education, health and motherhood. Questions like, Am I doing enough as a mother, Am I supposed to be here in Hawkes Bay, Should I study this .. etc.

My last question this time round was more to entertain a thought.

I'm 38. Am I going to live til 80 completely alone?

I knew the answer to this already. It was a solid No. I have family all around me who will be at my side for the remainder of my days. I knew this.

The answer rang true in several talks where the importance of family was discussed, but it didn't seem like it was quite enough.

Days later my sister and her husband went through the temple. With their sealing on my mind, I waved off a few impressions I got. It was a day for my sister and her family after all, I forgot I hadn't just come for them.

We were sitting with the temple Matron when that question popped up again. The Matron told my sister about how today, the temple for her would be a different experience to the widow who will come today and sit in the celestial room pondering her future.

Well Holy Divinity Batman.

Sitting in that same room she mentioned pondering exactly what she had said, which was my question, a name popped into my mind. A name that both confused me and gave me butterflies. I made a WTF face to that thought inside the celestial room of the temple, and the name came again. As I got up to leave the room after my sister and her husband had entered, the name came a third time.

I was instant in my mental response and thought, I don't even know where to start with that one.
And clear as day ... in the voice of my one and only who left us 5 years ago next month ..
You start with you. 

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