Monday, August 14, 2017

Stiddy Boy.

Our boy has a saliva rash.
Here come his teeth.

Saturday, August 12, 2017

I'll be glad when winter is over.

You wouldn't think life here is busy, but it is and I only have one kid to deal with. No .. I changed my mind, there are three of them that I actually deal with and 1/3 is the mother to 3/3.

The year didn't start off that great, but by August it's transitioned into something that will be quite unforgettable when I look back on 2017.

Finally got an office. It's been a long time coming, but once 1/3 moved out I quickly moved into beastmode and set up office before she decided she was coming back. I'd take a photo of it .. but then the people of Hickville would know what I had and know where to go when they need something. I get lots of visits for 'somethings' and very rarely get visits from people who are genuinely concerned about my well being.

I'm 40 soon. I want to be able to look back from 40 and see that I've accomplished something grand. I can live with being the widow stuck in Hicksville as long as there is something else to go with it. I have less than 2 years to find that something.

Kudos to Miss Maia for the Hubs spam.










And finally .. the boy has learned to jump.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Life is a moment in space .. When the dream is gone .. It's a lonelier place

Every dream I have of Larry involves a phone. Usually what happens is that I'm trying to ring him and I know he's there, but he can't answer for some reason.

He answered in last nights dream. FaceTime'd infact. He was driving through green mountains and told me the place was great and that I'd love it there. At some point in my dream I believed he was really there. Alive. Then in and out of dreamland I realized he was still gone and I would wake up without him. In bed, and half asleep, I felt myself make the face a baby makes just before they're about to cry.

It's moments like these that I'm happy to wake up to the important people in my life.

Shaily is 18 tomorrow. We already celebrated her birthday on Saturday.

The Arabs are in town. We had a spicy noodle challenge at the marae after we put them all to work stacking the mattresses into a container. The prize was a Memphis Meltdown. Maia won the first one and Jeston and Shaily had three tiebreakers where they had to eat more noodles. 4 cups later and looking like she'd had a Kylie Jenner lip plumping episode, she gave up and let her brother win, not before being a total sore loser by telling him she'd buy her own Memphis Meltdown tomorrow.

Then we lit a fire at the back.

And got all serious about cameras.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

It's OK to hate your kids sometimes.

My child will be 7 in 30 days. Lately I've wanted to give her away to someone who might like her when she does annoying things. She has this habit of stuffing her mouth with food. She told me once it's because she thinks someone is going to take the food before she gets to eat it all. I explained to her that this doesn't happen in our house and she doesn't need to be that revolting at the table.

Tonight she did it. Stuffed her pie hole with a piece of bread that she'd saturated with bacon hock soup. She sat there and looked at me about ready to vomit. I kept eating my dinner, sat back and observed, waiting for her next move.

Now I'm not being anal or mean .. but if I let her drink something before dinner, she'll want to drink more drink after a few spoonfuls of her meal then suddenly she'll be full on liquids and still have an 80% full dinner plate then she'll tell me she's done AND THEN at 2am, she'll want a sandwich. Happens all the time. 2am. I don't let her drink before she eats. She has to eat at least half before she can quench her thirst.

Countdown has a new brand of sugar-free soda pop called Fizz and it's $1 a bottle. The lime flavor graced our table tonight at dinner time. Her cup waited for her and I think she thought it was going to disappear before she could finish her dinner and so we find ourselves with a mouthful of bread about ready to burst.

And then she gagged.
And gagged.
And gagged.

15 minutes later. Looking me dead in the eyes, she opened her mouth and out spilled one piece of bread saturated in bacon hock soup .. in liquid form. I'm dry heaving as I type this.

I imagined myself flying across the table and bouncing her head off of it, but as I sipped my lime soda pop, I told her to go spit it out, go brush her teeth and go straight to bed.

That was at 5:45pm.
At 6:30pm I hear from her bedroom.

Mum.
What.
You're mean.
Why because I sent you to bed because you were disgusting during dinner time?
No.
Why? Because I didn't let you have fizz?
No.
Then why?
BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LET ME WATCH FRIENDS AND CHANDLER WAS MOVING IN WITH MONICA TONIGHT!

I love you, but you annoy me so much that I want to drink vodka.