Tuesday, February 28, 2017

New Week.

The town was overrun by Matatini last week. I told myself I wouldn't succumb to the fad of the week, but I did. I spent 4 days sitting in front of the TV watching each group. Didn't have an idea what they were saying or what they were singing about, but after 3 or 4 groups, they all started to sound the same.

And I still watched.

Then Avi stayed last night so things won't be back to normal till tomorrow. I even tried to persuade Hub's into staying home from school today so Avi wouldn't get too bored with me, but she preferred school.

We are officially on baby watch.
She could blow at any time.
I'm not sure if the acupuncture helped, but the next 2-3 weeks will be the longest yet for Tyler & Aunty Tashi.




Apparently Tyler has dropped.
I'll take that photo later.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Matatini week ..

Matatini is being hosted in Hawkes Bay this year. You can tell there are too many people in Hastings at the moment. I went to the super market on Saturday and the whole place was out of toilet paper and milk. I've never really got into the spirit of Matatini. I never really embraced my Maoridom to be honest, but over the last few days I've stepped it up a notch.

Matatini is basically a kapahaka/dance festival for the top Maori dance groups in the world to come together and compete. In all honesty .. I didn't know what it was up until 4 years ago and it's been around for 23 years. The event occurs every 2 years in various locations around New Zealand and this year it's in Hawkes Bay.

Tyler would come home and tell me about haka powhiri practice they'd have on Sunday afternoons. I think it was only after the 3rd or 4th practice I asked her what it was exactly and what it turned out to be was exactly that, a practice for the people here to learn dance movements for when they greet the visitors who will compete in the competition. 47 kapahaka groups are staying at venues around the Bay and we have a group from Nelson at our marae.

I had been helping my Mum at our marae down the street over the last few weeks. I didn't want to because the crap going on down there is enough to make me want to never admit I have a marae, but my Mum needed the help and so I obliged. We did what we could and the group arrived yesterday.

For the first time in years I stood and watched a powhiri on my own marae and it was a little emotional because it had been so long. We use to frequent the place as kids, but it's a bit of a ghost town now. I watched our kids run around and play like we use to and it was bitter sweet. Bitter because the politics of the place are ruining it and sweet because the place still has a lot to offer.

Today they had the haka powhiri, the thing Tyler and her group have been practicing for months. It was held at the sports park in Napier and was set to host thousands. I was advised to go. I was promised it would be amazing, but the idea of that many people made me cringe and I said no.

I watched the opening thanks to people who went Live on FB and it was amazing.
AMAZING.
I regret not going.

Here's Ty being hearty Maori.
It will be her last performance this side of her pregnancy.
For the first time in a while, she made her Millz proud today.



I totally hope this works. It's long, but it's moving.
I wish I knew the the structure of a powhiri, but I don't.

Kudo's to the uploading of the video: Anaru Ratapu.
I'd just like to add how much New Zealand media sucks. Matatini coverage barely got five minutes on prime time news, but apparently Kim Dot Com's eligibility for extradition is more important than the biggest powhiri of the year.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

The 3 hour baby shower.

We're in the last stage of Tyler's pregnancy now. She has 4 weeks left.

Her baby shower had to fall on the busiest weekend of the month .. no actually .. the Livians had to pick the busiest weekend of the month to go out of town and leave me with chores. I wasn't going to go to the baby shower, but I could image how miserable the mother-to-be would be for the last 4 weeks had I not.

Glad I went. It was a diverse group of people, but I thought it was fantastic and I usually think everything I don't have a hand in sucks.

Good times.
Now we wait.









Friday, February 17, 2017

One ring to rule them all.

About a year ago I looked down at Larry's wedding band on my finger and thought ... I should take it off.

In the time passed, although irrelevant really, I've learned that the significance of a ring is not essential to making a marriage. The commitment you make to each other is the same with or without it. It doesn't make a marriage less safe and secure by having one, but what it does do is symbolizes a unification because of it's endless shape.

Marriage is about trust, loyalty, faith and love and I'm not giving up any of those rights and privileges by taking the ring off. My marriage isn't over because I'm taking it off, but he has gone. It's my reality when I twist his ring around my finger every day.

I'm OK taking it off because I've come to be OK after going on 5 years later. It's not a difficult choice because I know I'm still married on an eternal level that I'm still trying to comprehend is even possible.

The best place for it?
In a suede ring box.
With my wedding rings.

Together.

And if Lasse Matberg wants to buy me a new one .. I have a spare finger.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

I believe I can fly.

Hubba's been singing it for the last few days. The lyrics have been limited to, "I believe I can fly", but she still sings it like she owns it.

Today she must have learned additional lyrics at school. I sent her outside to do something and she left singing, "I believe I can fly", when she came back she was singing the new lyrics.

All I wanted was a chicken wing ...
Did you just sing, All I wanted was a chicken wing?
Yes.
That's not the lyrics.
Yes it is!
I think about it every night and day (I sing).
No .. it's definitely chicken wing.

She's convinced it's chicken wing because of the flying.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Surviving Valentines Day.

Another widow told me this morning that valentines for her was 'a day of sorrow'. She said her heart was hurting just a little bit more today because she has no one to share it with. She said she found today so difficult that she decided to just mow her lawns. She said all the songs on google radio today didn't help when she went on her morning walk. Ballad after ballad played and the only emotion each song impressed was dread.

I miss Larry, but the longing doesn't get extra unbearable just because he's not here to give me flowers or chocolate. I asked her if she wanted the heart shaped cookie I bought for Hub's valentines gift. She's my valentine.

So how do you survive Valentines Day when you're not a widow like me who really doesn't give a crap?

I don't think there's a code to get over the meaning of today when your sweetheart isn't here to send you love heart emoji's every other minute. It's no help that consumerism doesn't let you forget anything and all I've seen on TV for the last week has been targeted at lovers.

Valentines Day is not limited to couples only, but is open for observation by everyone. It's not a time to be reminded that the one you love the most is not here to share it, it's a time to be with those who are here and if you happen to get chocolate and flowers then 50 shades of grey points to you.

As a widow, I have some great valentines day memories ... like the time he forgot and gave me a bag of limited edition raspberry M&Ms and slept on the couch for the rest of the week.

On the other hand, there was that time he didn't forget and hired a movie theater and had BBQ bought in.

But my favorite was the last one.
1827 days ago.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Time to say Goodbye to the bad Christmas vibes.

As a family, we had a pretty crap Christmas, but we're near the light at the end of the tunnel and we're looking forward to the future, individually and collectively. I've thought about everything that has happened in the last few months and was reminded that there really is no such thing as rock bottom.

There is a fix for everything that happens in your life. All things can be undone. Some things you'll chose to address and some things you'll find a way around. I did lots of addressing and moving around over the last few weeks.

At the very least, if I have my brothers, my sisters, the kids and my parents on my side in everything that I do, then I have enough. Our lives are complected anyway, none better to share it with than those who matter most.

And for me, it's them. All 31 of them.

PS: Operation Thanksgiving 2017 is a go.
Looking at early May.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Another tooth out.

Shark teeth are adult teeth growing behind baby teeth. This happened for her central incisors and something needed to be done. This one was still stuck in there good and we tried the floss thing for a couple of weeks until I realized she wasn't even trying to make it come out. She was twirling the floss around her finger instead of quick downward pulls.

So just like I promised Avi, I yanked it once and it flew out.

She wasn't my friend for 30 minutes, but she got over it when I told her she could have a kiwifruit ice-block.

Monday, February 6, 2017

Waitangi Day.

No words. Just lots of photos from a day spent a Mangakuri Beach.
No toilets there by the way.





















Good day. Good company. Good weather.

Thursday, February 2, 2017

I raised a bully.

Her new tooth is already half way out and the front tooth is barely wiggly. I myself would like to kick it out and kill two birds, but that's illegal. The floss didn't work. The tooth is still there.

Chunky Monkey.

They have a love hate relationship.
So does my mother and her sister.
So do I with my sister.

I'm for Team Avi.

As you can see, Hubba is a biatch.

It's ok my Avis .. I will tug the floss extra hard tonight during dental floss hour.

Hub's is also mean to Carter and Bebs.