Friday, August 19, 2016

Recluse.

This place is getting to me. Talking about it with Mitchy yesterday, she has the same feeling and I don't like that because this is home. I've always said that within my four walls, and the four walls of my parents and siblings homes, that is where my heart is, but on the outside you're immediate prey to anyone.

It's been an ugly few weeks in the community and although the issue didn't involve me or my immediate family directly, because it's a small place and because you're all family you are in it by default.

People say things who weren't even there. People say things who don't even know. Sometimes people even say things that are both irrelevant and fictional. Your opinion doesn't matter if you weren't there. Your opinion doesn't count if it didn't come from the horses mouth.

This isn't the Bridge Pa I knew. Just this morning I was sweeping stones off of my drive way and I remembered how Aunty Marva use to leave a broom just for the stones right at the entrance of the drive way. You can't do that now because someone will take the broom. She use to leave the house unlocked all the time, but my house is always locked and I only open it for a select few.

Church does not help. I've been struggling with that for a while, but the force behind it got stronger over the last few weeks and I dread attending - only because of the people. Right now the only reason I'm attending is because I don't want Hubs to miss out on what I believe to be true.

Outside of my house, this is not Bridge Pa anymore.
Not the Bridge Pa that I knew.