Saturday, May 21, 2016

That shirt.

I rock the same shirt every day. Most days. If I'm not wearing it, it's because I either wore it to bed the night before or because it didn't dry from washing it the night before. I'm certain everyone notices I wear the same shirt daily. My family do. My Mum offered to buy me new clothes. She also threatened to burn the shirt and tried to pull it up and over my head one day.

Lately, one of my nieces has been asking why I wear the same shirt. She asked if it was because I didn't like going shopping. She asked if it was because I like the color black. She asked if it was because it makes me comfortable. She was close with the comfortable part.

Two days before his death, Larry wore the shirt into the ER department. When they put a line into his arm he bled all over the shirt. They had to cut the cuff of the sleeve because it got snagged in the line. He told me to keep the shirt for his DNA. He said I'd be able to clone him if he died. When they moved him to the ICU the day before he died, he had the shirt with him. Dried blood and all, I wore it to bed that night because it smelled like him.

I slept with the shirt on my pillow for 3 days up until we buried him. I began to wear it and washed it when his scent finally wore off - a week later.

I wear it every day and I'll keep wearing it until it's not wearable anymore. The sleeve is tattered and the dried blood has been replaced with Avi's vomit. I wash it every night. It's faded. It's too big for me, but it's his and I wear it because of that.

I also spray my bed with his cologne every morning and when I run out, I buy another one or The Livian's replace it because they know my ritual. I smell it on people sometimes. He wasn't the only one who wore that scent, but I always do a double take at the slightest trace of it.

And so .. for those that wondered .. that's why I wear the same shirt every day. I also bring it up a notch during winter and add his Old Navy hoodie to the mix.
Because it's his.

1 comment:

Melissa said...

That's pretty awesome. ❤️❤️❤️