Sunday, January 17, 2016

Not losing my religion.

Had a talk tonight with a cousin who is having similar woes in the ward as I am. It's distressed her to a point where it's affecting her home life. We talked through a few things and agreed and disagreed, but came to the conclusion that we should both adjust our attitudes, not for the ward, but for ourselves.

I have not had the priesthood in my home for three years. I see the Priesthood in action all the time in the ward, but I've failed to see the initiative to think about the women next door who are solo mothers, widows or living alone. The women that, from time to time, appreciate a visit from men who can exercise the ecclesiastical power we're taught of.

I don't want to complain about my ward anymore, but I also don't want to have reason to silently complain about my ward anymore. I knew I wasn't the only one feeling that way about the place, but I didn't know there were members with such low regard that it makes my attitude towards it minute.

Less three teachers today and I got stuck with the Valiants. With no lesson planned, I took them to the graveyard and the lesson became ..
"Find me a grave from 1985. That's 141 years after the birth of Joseph Smith".
Sent them off to waste 15 minutes looking for a grave from the 1700s that I knew didn't exist.

The only thing keeping me there is the fact that I do believe it's true and I am not weak enough to allow people to shoot me down to a point where I stop going completely.

Attended three hours today and even sat in Sacrament meeting.
Did not break the sabbath.
Said the F-word twice out loud. 
Thought it the whole way through 3rd hour at church when I ran sharing time.


Melissa said...

You have my admiration and respect. A lesser person would stop going. Well done.

Me said...

A lot of my friends are having "crises of faith" too. They have supportive wards, but the recent church thing about children of gay people was a really hard blow to friends i still have left in the church. but i respect peoples ability to make choices for their own lives, and they also have said this is where they feel they belong, so good luck navigating the ward and getting the support you need!! :)

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