Skip to main content

Day 1094.

It's unbelievable how your mind and body can remember a day that was purposeful, good or bad. For the last few days my subconscious knew this day was coming, because it comes every year and my subconscious knows that it was a mournful day even though it isn't any different than any other day without him.

I'm starting to forget things about him. Little things like his scent or his jokes and if his videos weren't all over YouTube, I'd forget his voice too. In three years I don't sleep with the light on anymore. I removed the TV from the room and slowly got rid of his clothes and shoes as I moved out of grief and into equanimity.

But I miss him every day.

Exactly the same as this time three years ago.


Melissa said…
It's interesting how the mourning process works man. I'll always be sad for your loss. No one should have to lose their spouse so young. Sorry man.

Popular posts from this blog

Super Moon, Te Mata and Ariel.

Last nights Super Moon. Te Mata Peak. Safe to say, Hubbalush loves her Ariel. She's my favorite big sister Mum. (Shame Tyler, Shai, Nessa and Rome) Goodnight Hawkes Bay. Earthquake: I felt it. I got my child up and ran outside onto my concrete porch where I thought it would be safest. The Seismologist on the news the next day said running outside is not a good idea in the event of an Earthquake. Now I know for next time. Hawkes Bay didn't feel the effects of it like Southland did .. and is continuing to do. Over 1000 aftershocks since it all began. Tyler is stuck on the South Island and finishing out their tour, much to my dismay. It's a disaster zone in parts down there and although she's on the skirts of the danger zones, you'd think it professional AND safe to cancel the tour and bring the troop home .. but no. Some stupid doesn't think so. Goodnight.

Kawe Mate.

Recently an Aunty of mine, who is staunch in her Maori culture, talked to me about the protocol of Kawe Mate. Kawe Mate is a custom during the maori process of death that involves taking the deceased memory back to where they were well known or considered home. It's a custom that is basically a gesture of love to family members who weren't able to attend the tangi. My family never practised it at all and I don't think it's necessary to start. I carry his memory in my heart, as does his Mom, that's all that matters. Happy Mothers Day!