Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Do or do not. There is no try.

Had a conversation with someone tonight and re-read the conversation a few times. Yes, I'm pretty negative when it comes to this place, but I must correct myself when I say things that lead to a belief of such.

It's the people not the place.
I love this place however, I struggle with some of the people in this place. I let that get me down for years before finally deciding it's safer to stick to yourself and those you trust. I open my door for very few. I even have family on a by-invitation-only list.

People here have the tendency to be lemon-like and I put my hand up first to admit I'm one of them, but only when it comes to those people.

I bought my husband here and after experiencing some of the worst emotional abuse from family (me not him) at the worst possible time, he didn't have high regard for the place and yet, I buried him here.

This is why I will never leave this place.
I can't leave him here because I forced him here, but not only that .. within the four walls that make up my immediate family, the heart of what this place use to be is still here.

So if I refrain from acknowledging you, it's because it's better to be safe than sorry and not because I'm "negative". When you expect a realist behind those smiles but get lemon juice, it's not worth the kinetic energy to return the smile.

I tried Yoda.
Life is not all peaches and cream and accepting that is a positive.

1 comment:

Melissa said...

That seems odd that your family would emotionally abuse you while your husband was dying. Man talk about a raw deal. Sorry man.