Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Self-help books.

Tyler posted a picture to her instagram last week that made me roll my eyes.

I loathe self-help books with affection. I've read several over the years only because they were on the book shelf and I got the same message from each of them. They tell you what you want to hear, not what you need to hear.

Before my sister had her first baby, her bible was a book by Dr. Phil giving parental advice. I rolled my eyes at that too and noticed she didn't pull it out for baby 2 and 3. One of my brothers argued that the books on my shelf are self-help books. Recipe books are not self-help fool. 

Yesterday my sister told me I needed to read a book, can't remember what it was called, about getting through grief. I told her I'm not grieving because of a belief system that eased the grief away as soon as it came. Even then, both Larry and I understood that death was imminent for him because of the stage of his illness. When you get to that point, you enjoy each other as much as you can. When death comes, you bypass grief as quickly as you can with years of great memories.

Back to Tyler. She's getting married soon and is concerned about being domesticated. She knows how to make quesadillas in a panini press and how to microwave porridge. I was worse than that when I got married and spent the first year at Best Taco down Magnolia in North Hollywood. The book she has on her night stand isn't going to help her cook or keep a house. That will come when they start out on their own.

She doesn't need a book to tell her how to treat her husband.
All she needs him to know is that her sun rises in his eyes ... like Larry knew.

1 comment:

Ariel Shultz said...

a bunch of my friends read that "love language" stuff, and i hated it. its a convienient scape goat when you have a disagreement. "oh, they just dont communicate the same language i do. what, are they speaking portugese? try to just ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE. sometimes its hard, but guess what, a relationship thats worth it, is sometimes.