Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my
feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing
there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few
months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a
natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone
calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome
(when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being
cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every
relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial
stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent
At this point, you and/or your partner might start
asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria
of the love you once had, you
may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for
fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a
hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer
to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone
else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the
same situation a few years later.
The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to
work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And
most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.
Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or
without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe
(such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know
how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.
Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up
to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you
refuse to let GO!
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