In the last 3 months, I've had an array of mountains to climb. Some I looked at for a couple of days and decided I wasn't going to climb them then moved on to the next one. As I did this, it felt more and more out of my control that I didn't care anymore.
Over the last 3 months I forgot how to trust God and how to put my faith in him that everything was going to be ok. I figured this out Thursday night when I tried to open a fast and I didn't feel it when I prayed. It felt empty and not sincere. I tried again a few minutes later and it didn't feel that much better. I fasted anyway.
Our Stake was given the challenge last week to read the Book of Mormon over the next 100 days. Everyone got a little time table booklet that tells you what to read on what day.
Yesterday was Day 1. I read things I hadn't remembered reading before despite that I'd started the book a few times in my life, but nothing stuck out for me enough to apply to my issues besides a vistation from a heavely messenger. I would love one of those right now .. a certain messenger who knows Lightwave.
When you've had someone for 12 year to go through all trials with you, it's a knock in the face when suddenly you're on your own with all these things to deal with.
I'm working on it, but somedays nothing looks promising.
.. and then the Highlanders go and lose their first game in Super Rugby lastnight to the team on the bottom of my Super Rugby NZ list, The Chiefs.
Crusaders - Highlanders - Hurricanes - Blues - Chiefs.
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