Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Missing you.

I've been having some bad days lately, missing my two Aunties (my grandmothers two younger sisters) who raised me who have since passed, the most recent just under two years ago. Yesterday was a rough day so when I fell into bed earlier than usual and said a prayer on my own asking for comfort and strength to get me through the next day, I wound up quietly crying in bed wishing I could just go out and look for my Aunties, because they're who I wanted and I got sad because I didn't know where to start looking for them without 'knocking myself off', which isn't a clever thing to do period.

Cried myself to sleep, something I hadn't done in a while, and woke up at 1am to a feeling of someone standing at the end of the bed. I opened my eyes to darkness and went back to sleep. At 4am I heard a weird sound that I wasn't familiar with at all. I got up to investigate and discovered our water heater was leaking.

Back story.
Our rural community is now receiving water from the town supply, after years of each house being on their own seperate wells, and we were hooked up to the town supply. The pressure on the water heater needed to be adjusted to allow the new town supply pressure.

When I opened the water heater cupboard there sat hundreds of old photos all belonging to my Aunts. I moved everything out as the water was dripping from the top down onto everything. I had to go through every photo to seperate them and make sure the wet ones didn't stick, it would mean the end to the photo if they stuck.

Also in the water heater cupboard sat 22 years of journals that belonged to me and in those journals were letters from my Aunties when I was away at boarding school as a teenager. In a folder belonging to one of my Auntys was a letter from the other Aunty, a 5 page letter that detailed the funeral of their Aunty. I read through that letter then I read through the letters I'd received at school. I sat there for 2 hours looking through photos and reading through letters and that's when it hit me ...

I don't have to go looking for them when I need them. They've been where they've been the whole time, waiting for a moment like this, in photos and letters. Things you don't realize are heirlooms until you need them the most.

I just wish they didn't cause a leak to get the message to me :)

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